The Meaning of Trust - Is It Really Worth The Risk?

Every decision that we make comes with risks. It’s a universal truth, an incontrovertible fact- perhaps the biggest one there is. Whether the risk is large or small is at this point irrelevant. What matters is our motivation behind taking it, or not taking it. We take risks when we walk out of our houses every morning, when we jump into a taxi, when we apply to a university. There are times where the risk pays off, and there are times where it doesn’t. Personally, I don’t think it’s any different when it comes to matters like “love” and “trust”. Yup, you know exactly what I want to get into today.

Trust…like an endless minefield of incalculable probabilities that you’re compelled to cross because staying put would only result in the inevitable fall into the depths of obscurity. But every step you take, you pray to the high heavens that it is the right one because there isn’t a way to know for certain. The wrong step would definitely end you, but what if it doesn’t?

And that’s the question isn’t it? “What if”? It is the question that drives us. It is the question that connects us. It is the question that can either bind us in indecision or free us from it. It is the question that could only be answered if we lean into trust. It is a necessity after all, like oxygen. We cannot live without it. We cannot function without it. We cannot be better without it. But what is it really?

I think that trust is the willingness to reach our hands out in faith and accept the best and worst parts of someone. Not in the naive sense, no. We do it not because we don’t know any better but because while we may see the capacity for betrayal and hurt, we give the benefit of the doubt nevertheless. It’s like being aware that we may not wake up tomorrow, yet we go to bed anyway because we labor under the assumption that we would, and because we have done it time and time again without fail. It is more than intuition, it’s real trust in every sense of the definition.

I mean, let’s face it. We trust because we have no reason not to. As much as we like to say “I don’t trust anyone”, we know deep down it’s a folly because it would include ourselves as well, wouldn’t it? If we don’t trust anyone then it’s only logical to assume that we would not be considered trustworthy ourselves, right? And I’m sure that we would want others to trust us, to believe in us.

Here’s the thing. We understand on some level that in order to show up for ourselves, we have to be vulnerable. We need to be. It is our nature. Yes, trusting people is like giving them the blueprints to screw us over, but there is some part of us, some sixth sense that knows that it most likely would not happen. It’s one of the greatest gifts we can give to someone. It shows the confidence we have in them as well as in ourselves.

Now don’t think for a minute that I’m discounting the bad experiences that we have endured from trusting the wrong people. I’m not. We all make mistakes. I know that our past will somehow affect our decision and our ability to trust others. Some of you may have been betrayed by most of the people that you put your trust in, thus resulting in you having serious trust issues. But as long as we’re being honest, consider this for a moment - if everyone you’re putting your trust in is betraying you, then it’s more of a reflection on you than it is on them wouldn’t you agree?

I myself had recently put my trust in the wrong people and it was catastrophic to say the least. But even though that decision derailed my life, it didn’t mean that I was careless in my decision-making. It didn’t mean that I was not paying enough attention. I made a judgement call based on the information that I had and it didn’t pay off in the end. Does it mean I shouldn’t trust anyone on principle? Absolutely not. It is worth the risk.

But let’s not quibble about details. We know perfectly well that to trust anyone is to trust ourselves and if we are afraid to do that then, let’s just say that we will never know who we truly are, nor would we be able to find out what we’re capable of. We would never be able to set healthy boundaries nor learn from our mistakes. We would become subservient to a darkness that would eventually turn us into isolated, nihilistic and afraid creatures. And God only knows where that pathological pathway would lead us.

Trust is scary, believe me I know. But true courage lies in our ability to do it despite having been hurt in the past. Trusting someone is always a huge gamble, but it’s the only way in which we can be our genuine selves and make genuine connections. It reveals not just our perceptions of those we put our trust in, but also our perception of ourselves, and it is absolutely worth the risk, trust me.

Your thoughts?